GATHER ROUND, LADIES AND GENTS ...

(Opens suitcase) Now what I have for you lucky people today is your genuine, 100% guaranteed, kosher borehamwood merchandise. Now you can go to your Harvey Nics, your Harrods or your dodgy little tailor just off Carnaby Street and pick up your named brand clothes but you'll have to say ta-ta to that week on the costa bravas to pay for it or you can be the envy of your mates with one of these original borehamwood pieces and still have enough change for a kebab for you and the person you pulled who was admiring your clobber in the local meat market. Now do I have any offers...